


healing touch

by rikubraveheart



Series: Ace-centric pieces [1]
Category: One Piece
Genre: ASL Brothers, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Fluff and Angst, Gen, I Made Myself Cry, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Portgas D. Ace Needs a Hug, Portgas D. Ace-centric, Sad Ending, Touch-Starved, Yes. Ace is the Major Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:47:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28130382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rikubraveheart/pseuds/rikubraveheart
Summary: Ace isn’t used to touch.(Or, Portgas D. Ace's life told through touches, from childhood up to his death.)
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy & Portgas D. Ace, Monkey D. Luffy & Portgas D. Ace & Sabo, Portgas D. Ace & Sabo, Portgas D. Ace & Whitebeard Pirates
Series: Ace-centric pieces [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2181669
Comments: 14
Kudos: 103





	healing touch

**Author's Note:**

> *disappears for two months and comes back with one piece brainrot*
> 
> i cried writing this. i fucking cried. anyway, first one piece fic but definitely not the last. i'm working on something for the release of chapter 1000. definitely subscribe to my user if you want more op content, especially if you like ace because like 80% of my fic ideas (and i have a lot) have to do with ace and/or the asl brothers. yes i love him yes i like suffering.
> 
> also follow my tumblr ([@strawhatcrew](https://strawhatcrew.tumblr.com/)) for one piece ramblings. i cry about the asl brothers a lot. i also have a twitter ([@rikubraveheart](https://twitter.com/rikubraveheart)) where i yell about... well, everything.
> 
> enjoy the read!

Ace isn’t used to touch.

People don’t _touch_ Ace. Instead, they do everything in their power to avoid him. The only contact he gets is the occasional Fist of Love from Gramps and the punches and kicks from the men during the bar fights he gets into. He can’t remember the last time any of the bandits other than Dadan bothered with him, to them the less involved they get the better. He can faintly remember them taking care of him when he was sick as a toddler. 

He’s been dressing his own wounds since he was three.

Then he meets Sabo.

They don’t become friends instantly. Ace isn’t an easy person to get along with, he knows this. He doesn’t let people in, he’s a hardass and he yells a lot. But, once he stops seeing him as an annoyance to get rid of, he and Sabo just _click._

They become the terrors of the Gray Terminal, robbing thugs blind and beating anyone who stands in their way with their pipes. 

It’s one of those days, after they’ve gotten a particular big bag of gold, when Sabo extends his fist at Ace. He’s smiling, looking at Ace like he’s waiting for something. It takes a few seconds for him to realize what he wants.

_Oh._

Ace grins and bumps his fist against Sabo’s. Friendship is nice.

Fist-bumps become a regular thing after that. It’s still not _touching,_ not really, but his and Sabo’s friendship becomes the highlight of Ace’s life. He still comes back to that same house that doesn’t feel like home at the end of the day, but at least he has something to look forward to. 

(No matter how much he tries to tell himself that Dadan and the bandits _care_ about him, in their own, weird way, he never quite manages to believe it. Why would they care about the Devil’s child, after all?)

They are going to be pirates, and nothing is going to stop them.

The first time Sabo puts his arm around Ace’s shoulders, it startles him so much he shoves him off violently and Sabo ends up on the ground. It was a knee-jerk response, product of years of only getting touches through violent means, but Ace feels horrible about it nonetheless.

Sabo gets up quickly, ready to apologize for whatever he did, or maybe to ask Ace for an explanation.

Before he can say anything, though, Ace starts talking. He’s never told anyone about his father. Everyone who had to know already does, and Ace had no part in that. But now it’s _him_ telling _his_ secret.

He doesn’t really know why he’s telling him. But he trusts Sabo, more than he’s ever trusted anyone (has he even really trusted someone before?) and he deserves to know why Ace is like this. The reason he’s so angry all the time.

Nothing changes between them. They still hang out together, spar together, beat the shit out of lowlives together. The only difference is that Ace is not in constant tension anymore, feeling more relaxed than he’s ever been.

(He fails to notice that same tension hanging around Sabo.)

The next time Sabo flings his arm around Ace’s shoulders, he lets him.

* * *

Sometimes, Ace dreams about his mother.

He dreams about her arms around him, warm and safe, as she kisses his forehead.

“This child’s name is Gol D. Ace,” she says, and he can’t even be bothered by that cursed name. Her voice is sweet and radiates _so much love_. Her face is never clear—Ace doesn’t remember it. But even then, he can see the faintest image of a smile on it.

Those dreams are when Ace feels the most loved. And yet, it’s when he wakes up from them that he wonders if his life was worth his mother’s death.

* * *

Luffy is an annoying kid.

He insists on following Ace, on talking to him when he has no option but to be in the damned house, and no matter what he does he just _won’t give up_.

“Why won’t he just get the goddamn message?!” he complains.

“He will eventually,” Sabo says, shrugging. “One person can only endure being thrown around the forest for so long.”

But Sabo is wrong, and not only does Luffy not give up but he catches up to him and finds where they are hiding their treasure. Ace will be damned if he’s going to let a seven-year-old _brat_ ruin their five years of hard work. 

He doesn’t get to do anything about it, though, because Bluejam’s goons come snooping around and take the brat and they have no other option than to move their treasure before they lose it all.

He certainly doesn’t expect to have to go save Luffy from them, but he gets to punch their stupid faces so he supposes it’s a win-win situation. Bruised knuckles, scraped knees and bloodied wounds—those are all feelings, _touches_ , Ace is used to.

Luffy turns out to be so much more than he looked like and, most importantly, he tells Ace that he wants him to _live._ But, whatever, he’s still a crybaby and Ace doesn’t like him in the slightest.

So Ace gets two brothers, and suddenly there’s touch _everywhere._

It’s sleeping next to them that gets Ace the most—he’s never slept truly alone, living in a cabin packed with bandits, but having two other kids draped over him is certainly new. It’s warm, and calming. Getting used to Luffy’s snores admittedly takes a while, but once he does he sleeps better than ever. He never wakes up alone, either. In fact, he’s never alone at all anymore.

Before, when he wasn’t with Sabo he was alone. Even when Luffy came around he spent all his time actively trying to avoid him. But now both of them are always around, always touching. Grabbing his arm, his shoulder, sparring with him (they keep a count, now, and Ace is satisfied to see that he’s the one with the most wins against both of his brothers).

When Luffy hugs him, Ace’s only thought is _oh, this is nice._ Not like he would ever admit it out loud. He allows himself to enjoy the newfound warmth for a few seconds before shoving him off.

Sabo looks at him funny, and that’s how Ace knows that he’s been caught. He eventually stops shoving him off.

Betrayal comes in the form of Sabo telling Luffy he’s ticklish, and from then onwards he knows no peace. It’s constant tickling, laughing, crying. He gets back at them, of course, knowing very well that Sabo has his own weak spots and there’s no way Luffy isn’t ticklish as well.

He’s never been this happy, and something inside Ace starts to heal.

Then Sabo dies and it breaks again.

* * *

It’s just he and Luffy for the following years. Luffy hugs him more than ever, now, like he’s afraid Ace is going to disappear at any moment. Ace goes through a change. He doesn’t wait for Luffy to touch him anymore. He also hugs him constantly, pats his head, kisses his forehead, takes care of him when he gets sick.

He tries not to think about the times he could have done the same for Sabo but didn’t.

They get better, eventually. Luffy starts smiling again. They train to get stronger, and Ace finds himself dreading the day he’ll have to leave. It’s stupid, he knows. It’s his _dream_ and he’s going to follow it through, but at the same time, he doesn’t really want to leave Luffy. He doesn’t want to leave these touches behind.

That’s still far ahead, though, so, for now, he’ll enjoy what he has.

* * *

Makino is nice. She has a warm aura around her, something that reminds him of the mother he sees in his dreams. Ace secretly wonders if she’s anything like his mother was. Whether she is or not, he’ll never know, but he’s thankful for her help anyway.

“You need a haircut,” she tells him one day. He tries to resist, but in the end, he can’t say no to her.

He sits while she runs her fingers through his hair. It’s relaxing, and Ace has to fight the drowsiness that is starting to overpower him.

“You have nice hair, Ace-kun,” Makino says, a smile palpable on her voice. He hums, too sleepy to give a real answer. She giggles. “Don’t fall asleep on me.”

By the end of the process, Ace has a new haircut and a newfound appreciation for head pats.

* * *

Then comes the dreaded moment. He’s never cared much for birthdays, not seeing the point of celebrating his birth of all things. His seventeenth birthday is no different, except for the added difference that it’s the day he’s going to leave the island, and Luffy, behind to go out and achieve his dream.

Luffy has been clinging to him for the past two weeks, since the fact that Ace's departure was near actually sunk in. 

Even Dadan has been somewhat different.

Soon, it’s only going to be Ace and his tiny rowing boat. Soon, he will have to sleep and wake up alone. Soon, he will have no one but himself to take care of. It’s a scary thought.

Luffy surprises him with a birthday present, except it’s not really a surprise. He has done this every year since they met, and Ace has cherished every single one of his presents no matter how stupid they were. This one is a bright, orange cowboy hat, and Ace thinks Sabo would have probably made fun of him for it. He wears it anyway.

Dadan _actually_ surprises him with a birthday present of her own. It’s a beaded necklace almost identical to hers, and he doesn’t know if this is her being sentimental or just not bothering to find a different present to give him. He wears it as well.

She pats him on the back and tries to pretend she doesn’t care that he's leaving.

Makino tells him to be careful and to try to call from time to time. Ace isn’t sure how possible that is, but tells her he’ll try anyway. Makino has been a constant presence in his life since Sabo died, her light, sweet touches making Ace blush at every turn. He’s so thankful for her, and knowing she will still be there for Luffy after he’s gone is perhaps the only reason Ace is able to leave without any regrets.

He finally untangles himself from Luffy’s tight hug and sets sail for the first time.

* * *

Ace has been in the Moby Dick long enough to know that the Whitebeards are a very touchy-feely crew. They haven’t really approached him, thank God for that, but he’s seen enough from the distance. They call each other family, and it’s now more than ever that Ace misses his brother’s touch. 

He knows he stands no chance against Whitebeard, but he keeps on trying. For his brothers, both the one that’s waiting back at Dawn and the one who will never get to be free, he can’t give up. But Whitebeard never fails to defeat him, to fling him out of the ship or against a wall.

Marco the Phoenix always comes to him with medical supplies and wraps Ace’s wounds despite the latter’s insistence on doing it himself.

“Why do you call him Pops, anyway?” Ace asks one day, after a long time of trying and failing to defeat their captain.

The First Division Commander simply smiles. “Because he calls us his sons,” he answers. “To the rest of the world, we’re all just outcasts. It makes us happy.”

And really, Ace never had a choice but to join them, did he?

So, once again, Ace gets new brothers, except now there’s a lot more than last time. He doesn’t think he can even _count_ them. 

They party through the night, singing and dancing and touching. It’s weird, to be touched again. For the past seven years, the only person who really bothered with him this much was Luffy. To have so many people suddenly _care_ takes a while to get used to.

He loves his new brothers, and he thinks his brothers love him too.

He loves his new father as well.

(The only father he’s ever truly had.)

Everyone touches everyone in this crew.

Marco flings his arm around Ace’s shoulders often. This is, perhaps, what takes longer getting used to. It brings back memories, ones Ace had buried deep within this heart, and sometimes it’s hard to remember that this is Marco, not Sabo. He loves it nonetheless.

Fistbumps are a regular thing between crewmates, too. 

The men from his division are constantly seeking him out. Grabbing him by the wrist to call for his attention, tapping him on the shoulder. Ace hopes he lives up to their expectations as a leader.

He isn’t used to getting nursed back to health. He had to learn how to take care of his own wounds at a very young age, but now the nurses and doctors in the Moby Dick won’t let him leave the med bay until he’s completely healed, even if it takes days.

Sometimes he even lets Izou put some makeup on him, when Ace is too tired to find it in him to say no. He never lets anyone see it, too embarrassed by it, but it makes Izou happy so he doesn’t mind that much. Izou’s touch on his face is gentle as he works his art on Ace’s skin.

Pops’ touch is never gentle. He doubts that man knows gentleness, but it’s a loving touch anyway. The touch of a father who loves his family.

Sometimes, when Ace tells a particularly terrible joke, Pops laughs and slaps him on the back so hard it sends him flying to the floor. His brothers laugh, and he laughs with them. Everyone is a victim of Pops’ mortal slap on the back every now and then, after all.

Thatch likes to pat him on the head. It used to annoy Ace, made him feel small and like he was being belittled. He sees it for what it is now—just Thatch being Thatch, showing his love for his brother in his own way. 

“I know I’m your favourite brother,” he jokes while he serves him dinner. “A way to a D’s heart is through their stomach, after all!”

Their brothers around him protest, yelling about who is who’s favourite, and Ace is half-tempted to add himself to the argument if only to stir up a bit of chaos. Instead, he watches them and smiles.

But, like everything, this happiness shatters. Teach betrays them all and, as he stares at Thatch’s dead body, Ace swears to get revenge.

* * *

Alabasta is good. Not the weather, mind you. Ace absolutely detests that. But having Luffy and his hugs back for a while is healing, even if the hole left by Thatch will never be filled the same way the hole left by Sabo still remains. 

Getting to wake up with Luffy’s arms around him again eases his heart.

Meeting his crew is also relieving. They seem like a loyal bunch, even with their oddities. Although considering his own crew, Ace supposes he’s in no place to question anyone’s strangeness. 

His brother’s crew is also very touchy-feely, as expected. He wonders if they were always like that or if Luffy converted them the same way he did to him.

Most of them seem to be the latter. Roronoa Zoro is too tense to be anything else but a man who used to dread touch, but he now lets Luffy nap with him under the scorching sun of the Alabastan desert. Ace gets to cuddle his brother in the cold of the night, but he thinks Zoro must really care about him if he lets Luffy cuddle him during this hot weather.

The navigator, Nami, doesn’t touch anyone that much (with the exception of princess Vivi, it seems) but it looks like it’s more about not wanting to get the boys’ sweat on her than anything else. Ace would like to see what she’s like under normal circumstances. She _does_ hit the boys from time to time, when they’re being particularly stupid, and Ace can’t help but snort.

The reindeer, Chopper (who is also a Doctor, apparently) is constantly being hoarded by the other crew members at night due to his warm, furry nature.

Usopp and Luffy are a funny pair, and their relationship reminds him a bit of how he and Sabo used to be before Luffy came around. When Luffy clings to Usopp, allegedly not being able to stand anymore because _it’s so hot, Usopp, carry me_ , the other boy does nothing even if he complains about it.

He catches the cook, Sanji, flinching a couple of times, startled by the sudden touch of his crewmates. It reminds Ace of himself, too. He doesn’t question him, it’s not his place to do so. Still, Sanji seems to have no problem getting into brawls with the swordsman, and Ace knows very well those are just another excuse for closeness.

When they part ways again, his Vivre Card on Luffy’s hands, he leaves knowing that his brother is being taken good care of.

* * *

He finds Blackbeard and fails to avenge Thatch.

Impel Down is cold, the only touch being the occasional beating from the frustrated guards and the burning but somehow still freezing seastone cuffs on his wrists. Jinbei’s company is probably the only thing keeping him sane, and he’s selfishly thankful that he’s there with him. 

He misses his brothers, all of them.

And then he’s at Marineford, and they’re _there_ dying and suffering for him. He wishes they weren’t, but it makes him happy. To know that their love for Ace would bring them this far makes him so happy he can’t help but cry.

Horror settles in again when Luffy falls from the sky. Ace yells at him, a desperate cry to _please go away, be safe, don’t die for me._ But his little brother, stubborn as always, refuses to leave and actually manages to save him, the madman. Running away from the execution platform, fighting back to back with his brother, is exhilarant. It’s been years since they fought together like this, but their teamwork is as on point as ever. Even if they’re still missing a third.

Ace smiles, runs towards the ships ready to go home, but Akainu ruins their plans.

Never had Ace wished that he could turn his back on an enemy before that moment. He almost considers it, for a second. But his rage, as well as his primal instinct to protect his brother, wins over his rational thoughts.

It’s only been three years since he ate the Flame-Flame Fruit, but he had already forgotten what getting burnt felt like. Akainu’s magma _hurts,_ the pain reminding him of the Terminal Fire so long ago, and it hurts more as the Admiral puts his fist through Ace’s chest.

As his conscious slips away for the last time, his brother’s arms tight around him, he thinks—

_Oh, this is nice._

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed the ride. i am not responsible for any emotional damages.
> 
> once again my tumblr is [@strawhatcrew](https://strawhatcrew.tumblr.com/) and my twitter is [@rikubraveheart](https://twitter.com/rikubraveheart). if you don't want my spam on your dash/tl please do subscribe to my user, i thrive off user subscriptions.
> 
> also, special thanks to [boo](https://twitter.com/pandahuff_) for beta reading this lol sorry for making you cry.


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